Be the Bigger Person

I have worked in customer service forever or at least it seems that way. For the most part I enjoy people but you have those days when people just irritate you. I remember one day complaining to my mom about a customer and her response was "You never know what is going on in someone else's life. So let's give them the benefit of the doubt." Me, being a teenager was like "Whatever, mom" but she does have a valid point.

I heard a story that fits exactly what my mom was saying. A lady was getting a "makeover" done in cosmetics and being a little difficult. But the sales associate was patient and kept being nice to her anyway. At the end though the lady thanked the sales associate for being so nice. Her husband had died recently and this was the first time that she went out of the house. When people are hurting they don't purposely try to be rude and mean they are just grieving and trying to move forward.

Everyday people are faced with illness, job loss, debt, death, drama and they take it out people who have nothing to do with it. Try not to take it personally and just be the bigger person. You don't know what affect you may have on them by doing so.

Are you of moderate or low quality?

I have always had a hard time "settling." Sometimes I think I have too much ambition or want to reach a level too high for myself. I refuse to just "stay" where I am whether it makes me happen or not. I didn't settle when I chose to marry and I don't plan on settling on a career just to make ends meet. I want to push my limits and see where I can go.

Would you describe yourself as mediocre? Just average? The definition of mediocre is: of moderate or low quality. Does that describe you? I would hope not. But why do people say they are? Why do people "settle" to be mediocre?

I know not everyone has the same ambition that I have about life but don't you want to do more and be more? Don't you want to have that house you've always dreamed about or take that vacation you always wanted to do? Do you have a dream of going back to school or getting a promotion? It's never too late to go after what you want. The women that have graduated from college in their 90's are proof of that.

As I said in another blog, my life has come to a standstill and I'm trying to find my "path." But I don't plan on just settling here in Lima with whatever job I can find and starting a family b/c that may be the easiest thing to do. I plan on learning more about myself and going after what I want.

I want to encourage everyone to believe that they can do more and will do more if they put their minds to it and go after it. Don't settle or take the easy life. Take the road that will lead to success and happiness and joy. It doesn't have to be extravagant, it just has to be about you and what you want.

So I'll ask you once more: Are you mediocre?

What would people say about you at your funeral?

In a previous blog I mentioned that there was two deaths that happened last weekend. It got me thinking about my funeral and what people would say about me and would anyone come? Has anyone else thought about this?

Would people remember me a positive way? Would they remember all the good I did or would they remember the times I was mad or grumpy? Would they say I took the time to listen or say I was too busy to do such a thing? Would everyone say I inspired them to do better and be better b/c I myself was an exemplary model?

Death is never easy but it can be a great head turner. Are you being the person you want to be? Are you living the life you wanted? What would you want said at your funeral? Could it be said if you died tomorrow? For me personally I know there are areas I'd like to work on. Attitudes I'd like to change.

Why be Positive?

I have always been a positive, half-glass full kinda girl. I think it's just part of my DNA. It probably helps that my mom is the same way. You rarely see her w/out a smile and she says hello to everyone. However this world is filled with people who see the bad in everything and complain about their jobs, marriages, kids and their life in general. Some of these people were raised with parents that were always harsh on them, others have just had "life" happen to them and now they're bitter and I think some just choose to be grumpy for whatever reason.

I think being positive has been programed in me so it comes easily to me but for others it's hard to see the glass half-full rather than half-empty. It's all about perspective. The benefits of being positive far outweigh being negative though. Examples:

• optimists do better than pessimists in work, school, and sports
• they suffer less depression
• achieve more goals
• respond better to stress
• wage more effective battles against disease
• and even live longer

Research has shown that for every one negative comment you say to your child you have to say four positive comments to keep the balance. Conversations these days seem to be mostly negative, critical and gossipy. I admit I've done it. But I'm trying to do better. These kinds of "talk" spread like wildfire and once they spread you can't take it back. Once you start speaking in a "negative nature" it will just bring on more negative talk. This isn't productive or helpful.

I always get annoyed with people who complain about their situation or life but do nothing to change it. You are the only one that can make yourself happy. You are the only one that can change your attitude and by changing your attitude you can change your life. Attitude is a choice.

Some things to think about:

• Is humanity prone to a negative mental attitude?
• How do you feel when you are complimented?
• How does your positive or negative attitude affect those around you?
• How is your attitude affecting your life? Is it helping or hurting you?

Definition of pessimism: an inclination to take the least favorable view or to expect the worse

optimism: an inclination to anticipate the best possible outcome of actions or events

How'd this come about?

For the last couple of years I have been traveling and now my life has brought me back home to Ohio. The question is now.....what am I going to do? I got married in November so I have a significant other to think about so traveling isn't really an option and I don't want to do anything in my field (Business/Travel and Hospitality) so...........

My life has come to a complete standstill and I have no idea what my next move is. Which is quite difficult for me b/c I usually always have some kind of a plan. So to say I am frustrated at this moment is an understatement. I have an interest in helping others and by this I mean helping people see their potential and that they can do anything they put their mind to. So one idea for this blog is for people that need encouragement and positive attitudes and ways to improve life. Right now I am more confused than I've ever been and b/c of this I could easily get depressed and down on myself. I don't want that to happen so I decided I would write a positive blog everyday and learn myself. I'm not really sure where this blog will take me or anyone else but I'm excited to find out.

I'm open to any ideas and opinions but I ask that they be in a positive nature. I'm not here to argue w/anyone. Everyday I see people who are faced with illnesses, debt, death, drama, bad jobs and I want this to be a "place" where people can put all the bad behind them and just relax and enjoy. Just like your mom always told you "If you don't have anything nice to say then DON'T say anything at all" that applies here.

What good can come from death?

This past weekend was rough. I knew of three people that were in the hospital and two of them passed. I wasn't close to either of them but I know people who were. The first to pass was a man who was 51 (my mom's age) and his son is good friends with my brother. The other man to pass was only 29 with a wife and two young girls. This man graduated a year ahead of me in school. His death probably hit me the hardest because he is my husbands age and I know how devastated I would be if I lost my husband. I imagined his wife coming home to their house for the first time without him. How would that feel? What about sleeping all alone or taking care of the girls by herself? For me personally I love to experience new things with my husband. It wouldn't be the same if he wasn't with me. I wonder if his wife is the same way? How do you move on when your best friend is no longer around and at such a young age?

So my point w/these stories is.........how do you move on and make the best out of a situation that is so devastating? Bad things happen in life and death is inevitable. So we need to learn to move forward especially when all you want to do is shout "THIS IS SO UNFAIR" and "WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME."

I try my best to look at the good in every situation b/c always looking at the bad or the negative will capture you in a rut that you can't get out of. Which could cause everything in your life to go downhill.

What good can come from death then.......well lets see:

• it makes you reevaluate your life and your priorities. What is really important in your life? Family? Friends? Work?
• "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" Matthew 5:4
• it can bring you closer to family or friends that you lost contact with
• someone's death can show you that it isn't too late to accomplish a dream or make something right. It can be a second shot
• that persons life can inspire you
• it can show you to not take each day for granted and to make the most of every situation b/c life is shorter for some
• you stop wasting time on petty life issues
• you see how blessed you are and how much you have to be thankful for

I'm in no way saying that you shouldn't cry and grieve and that it won't take time but don't look at a death as the "end." You will see that person again in heaven. That person wouldn't want you to walk around sad and depressed but to instead celebrate their life and for you personally to live life to the fullest.

After this last weekend I thanked God for EVERYTHING I have no matter how big or small. You don't know what tomorrow holds, no one does so make sure you don't waste it on petty things that don't matter.

If anyone has other ideas please let me know. I'd love to hear them.